An unfortunate episode happened recently at a youth 7on7 youth football tournament. It happened off the field of play when a parent of a non-playing athlete and his son ran after a coach of a team when he was told his son couldn’t play because he was too old for the tournament. Several other fans got involved and eventually the game and the rest of the tournament was cancelled. The father was charged with simple assault and the coach’s girlfriend was recovering after being hit by the said father.

Though incidents such as this are few, parents’ behavior are failing the kids. Parents at times behave as if they are entitled to inject themselves into games by coaching from the stands or sidelines, interrupting the smooth running of the events and embarrassing their own kids.

Most school associations have spectator policies. The 7v7Iowa organization has no tolerance for violence and the coaches in the future will be required to sign a violence statement. It will enhance its processes and procedures to include regulations to disqualify organizations, teams and individuals from participating in Iowa events, including partial- and full-season disqualification for incidents investigated and found to be in violation of the document. They will require roster verification to be completed prior to participants entering the venue for any Iowa 7v7 managed or affiliated event. Clear penalties will be defined.

Adults can and must do better.

“A good coach can change a GAME. A great coach can change a LIFE.”

John Wooden

Becoming an athlete at the age of 10 led to my professional career as a youth swimming coach, as the founder of a non-profit addressing issues in youth sports, and now a grandparent watching my grandsons play competitive sports.

Needless to say, I have interacted with and watched a lot of coaches at all levels of sports.

The fact that there are a lot of things kids can take from participating in sports is not a surprise. If coaching is done correctly, kids can learn lessons that last a lifetime. At the end of the day, or the end of  my career, I would tell my athletes, “I will always believe in you and am so grateful to have had the opportunity to coach you. Remember that all the principles surrounding your athletic careers can be applied to your profession careers and personal interactions for the long term.”

You won’t always win in life. Losing is only a failure if you fail to do anything about it. Never accuse anyone for your loss, give people surrounding you credit for the victories, and tell them you will do a better job in helping them in the future. What allows you to keep your head high and failing in whatever you attempt is learning from the mistake and working hard.

It’s okay to fail because if you’re not failing, you’re not learning. Perseverance allows you to continue trying to do something even though it is difficult. Think back to one of your disappointing losses. I hope you learned more from that one loss than all the wins together.

Only one team or one athlete can win. Sports, and life, must be about the process, the journey and not about the objective of winning.

Statistics show girls drop out of sports at higher rates than boys as they transition into the teenage years. So why is this happening?

Societal pressures and gender stereotypes. According to Amy Masters of iSport360, “Body image concerns are a significant barrier to girls’ participation. As girls go through puberty, they may become more self-conscious about their changing bodies…Negative body image can lead to decreased confidence and motivation to participation in sports.”

She said we need to promote positive body image and self-esteem by “celebrating diverse body types and challenging unrealistic beauty standards.”

The lack of female role models and represetation in sports media, coaching staffs and leadership positions also can affect girls’ perceptions of their place in sports envionments. Masters says organizations should make an effort to increase the number of female coaches and staff, leaders in sports media and leadership positions.

“Provide opportunities for girls to connect with female mentors and role models…Empower girls to take ownership of their athletic journey and make decisions that align with their interests, goals and values. Encourage girls to advocate for themselves, express their opinions and participate in decision-making processes. Your culture will help players advocate for themselves.”